Making room for new experiences, working through guilt, and fitting travel into your spending plan. Inspired by Donna Jean Kendrick’s conversation with Tiffany Rampey on Widow Wisdom and Wealth.
Sometimes the thought of getting away begins with something small.
You want to visit your sister. You miss the mountains. Your children ask whether you can take a trip together. Or you simply wonder what it would feel like to spend a few days somewhere people do not already know your story.
Then the questions arrive.
Can I do this on my own? Can I afford it? What if I feel sad the entire time? What will people think if they see me enjoying myself?
When Tiffany Rampey joined me on Widow Wisdom and Wealth, we talked about those questions. Tiffany is the founder of the Travel More Method, and her work grew out of her experience of widowhood, parenting, and learning how to use travel rewards.
But the part of our conversation that stayed with me was the way she described being somewhere new with her children. Away from home, she could experience a little space from being recognized first as the woman whose husband had died.
She could simply be herself, with her kids.
If you are thinking about traveling after losing a spouse, you can begin with a trip that fits your comfort, your finances, and the support you need. That might be a nearby overnight stay or a visit with family. There is room to explore what would feel worthwhile to you without having the entire future figured out.
Tiffany’s Story: Finding a Different Way Forward After Loss
Tiffany’s husband, Mike, died suddenly in 2020. They had been married for 14 years, and their children were five and seven.
At the time, Tiffany was a kindergarten teacher. She loved her work and had not been imagining a major career change. After Mike’s death, however, she found that her capacity for that work was changing. Over the next few years, she gradually stepped away from teaching.
During that period, she also felt drawn to travel. In the beginning, she wanted a change of scenery, somewhere beautiful beyond the routines and surroundings of home.
She started with visits to family and sometimes brought relatives along. Those choices gave her support as she learned what traveling with her children would look like in this new part of their lives.
Later, after meeting the man who became her current husband, she was introduced to using credit card rewards for travel. She took a course, learned more about the process, and began trying it herself.
Eventually, she traveled around the world with her children for seven months, using points for much of the trip. Her experience became part of the foundation for her business, helping other widows explore travel and the possibilities it could offer them.
What I appreciated was how she brought her teaching background and personal experience into that work. Her career evolved alongside the needs of her family and the life she was building.
Her story is one person’s path. It also opens up a useful question: What kinds of experiences would you like to make room for in yours?
Why a Change of Scenery Can Feel Meaningful in Widowhood
When your spouse dies, the people around you may want very much to help. They check in. They ask how you are doing. They remember anniversaries and worry about your children.
That care can be deeply meaningful. There may also be moments when you want to walk into a room without having to explain how you are managing.
Tiffany described feeling that people in her community were watching her family. As a longtime teacher, she was well known there. Leaving town gave her a different experience: people she met did not already know about Mike’s death.
That mattered to her.
The trip did not change what had happened. It changed the surroundings in which she and her children were spending their days.
For you, a change of scenery might offer a different routine, a chance to spend time with someone you miss, or a few hours focused on something outside the responsibilities waiting at home.
You may still feel grief while you are away. A meal, a view, or a moment you want to share with your spouse can bring it close. That can be part of the trip alongside moments you enjoy.
You can think about what kind of setting would give you the most support: familiar family, a quiet place, a trip with a friend, or an experience you have wanted to try.
Working Through the Guilt of Enjoying Yourself
When I asked Tiffany about the barriers she hears from widows, she named guilt.
For some, it is guilt about spending money. For others, it is the feeling that enjoying a trip might suggest they are doing better than they actually are.
There can also be worry about what other people will think. Will a smiling photograph lead someone to believe you are finished grieving? Will they question the timing? Will they assume the trip says something about how much you loved your spouse?
Those concerns can make a personal decision feel very public.
Tiffany described women who reached a point where they wanted to begin adding meaningful experiences to their lives. Some wanted to show their children that there could still be things to look forward to. Others wanted to learn that they could manage a trip themselves.
You may recognize something in that. You may also need more time.
There is no requirement to feel excited just because someone suggests a vacation. It can help to talk with someone who knows you well, or with a grief support professional, about what is underneath your hesitation.
Perhaps the concern is mostly financial. Perhaps you want companionship. Perhaps a place connected to your spouse feels too difficult right now. Understanding that concern can help you decide what would make the experience more manageable.
Enjoyment and missing someone can exist in the same day. You can make room for both as you consider what you want to do next.
Give Travel a Place in Your Spending Plan
In my financial planning conversations, I often include a travel goal alongside the practical needs we are working through.
That goal might involve visiting family, taking the children somewhere new, or planning an experience you have imagined for years. The timing can vary. It may be something to work toward next year or several years from now.
Putting it into the plan gives us a chance to talk about what it would actually require.
A trip has costs beyond transportation and a place to sleep. There may be meals, activities, travel documents, pet care, local transportation, and room for unexpected changes. Time away from work may matter, too.
Looking at the full picture helps you consider travel alongside household expenses, reserves, and longer-term goals. You can decide what amount is comfortable and what kind of trip fits within it.
Perhaps you have enough room for a family visit now and want to save toward something larger. Perhaps the trip you first imagined would put too much pressure on your finances, but a shorter version would work.
If people have helped your family financially, that can add another layer of feeling to the decision. Any restrictions attached to funds need to be respected. Beyond that, an honest conversation about the resources available and the needs ahead can be more useful than trying to guess what everyone else would approve of.
You can care about your future while also considering experiences you would value today.
How Does Tiffany’s Points-and-Miles Approach Work?
Tiffany described keeping the learning process simple: begin with one card, understand its rewards system, and use it carefully.
Some cards offer a welcome bonus after an eligible customer meets a spending requirement within a specified period. In the episode, Tiffany used an example involving a certain amount of spending over a few months, followed by a points bonus.
That was an illustration of the mechanism, rather than a current offer readers should expect to receive. The actual requirements and benefits depend on the card’s terms.
The idea she emphasized was routing expenses through a card while keeping the money available to pay the bill. She repeatedly stressed full repayment each month.
For a card with a purchase grace period, paying the statement balance in full by the due date generally allows you to avoid interest on purchases. If you carry a balance, you can lose that grace period. The details depend on your account and transactions. Source: Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
That repayment commitment is central to evaluating whether a rewards approach fits your situation. If the bill would be difficult to pay in full, or the spending requirement would lead you to buy things you otherwise would not, the offer deserves another look.
Learning about rewards can be useful. Choosing whether to use them needs to begin with the finances you actually have.
Look at the Whole Cost of a Rewards-Funded Trip
Tiffany shared examples of the travel she was able to arrange with points. They reflected her own experience with particular opportunities.
When you are considering a trip, look at the booking options available for your dates and destination. Ask what cash payments are still required, what restrictions apply, and whether the arrangement works for everyone traveling with you.
The card itself may also involve costs and conditions. Review annual fees, eligibility, spending deadlines, and which benefits you would realistically use. A feature that sounds appealing is useful only if it fits the travel you intend to do.
Then compare the complete plan with alternatives. A trip that uses rewards may still require significant money for meals, activities, transportation, and other expenses.
You can also keep the administrative side in view. Would you feel comfortable tracking payment dates, understanding booking rules, and managing the account? Would that feel manageable with everything else you are carrying right now?
Tiffany’s preference for starting with one card made sense as a way to learn one system. Your own decision may be to explore the terms, ask questions, or keep your approach simpler while you settle into new financial responsibilities.
There are many ways to plan a worthwhile trip. Rewards are one possible tool to consider.
Opening More Credit Cards Does Not Automatically Improve Your Credit
One point from the episode needs additional context. Applying for another credit card does not automatically make your credit stronger.
Credit applications can result in hard inquiries, and those inquiries can lower credit scores. Source: Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
Before applying, consider why you want the account and whether its responsibilities fit your financial situation. If you expect to apply for a mortgage or another substantial loan, discuss the timing with the relevant lender or financial professional.
It is also worth clarifying the accounts you already have after a spouse’s death. In the episode, Tiffany and I described different experiences with credit and debt. Those were personal situations, rather than rules that apply to every surviving spouse.
Generally, a deceased person’s debts are paid from their estate. A surviving spouse’s personal responsibility depends on shared obligations and applicable state law. Debt does not simply disappear when someone dies. An estate attorney can help you establish what applies to your circumstances. Sources: CFPB on deceased debts and spousal responsibility.
Understanding where you stand financially can make it easier to consider travel without relying on assumptions about an account or obligation.
Your First Trip Can Be Small and Supported
Tiffany’s seven-month trip was a significant experience for her family. She also acknowledged that a journey like that is not something everyone can do.
Your first trip might be much closer to home.
You could spend a weekend with a relative, visit a nearby town with a friend, or plan an overnight stay with your children. A destination you already know may help you focus on learning how the logistics feel in your changed circumstances.
Tiffany began with family visits and sometimes traveled with relatives. That gave her a supported starting point before she ventured further.
You can think through what support would help you. Would you prefer someone to travel alongside you? Could a family member meet you at the destination? Would a shorter drive feel easier than navigating an airport?
For a first trip, a less crowded schedule may also give you useful room. You can choose one or two experiences you care about and leave time to rest or change plans.
It may help to discuss expectations with the children, too. What would they like to do? What might feel difficult? Is there something familiar they want to bring along?
A small trip can teach you what works for your family, what you would change, and what you might want to try next.
What Can Children Learn From Traveling With a Surviving Parent?
Tiffany described travel as part of her children’s education. During their extended trip, they visited different countries and learned through the places and experiences around them.
She noticed greater flexibility and confidence in the way her children approached unfamiliar situations. That was her observation of her own family, and it was meaningful to hear.
A shorter trip can create learning opportunities, too. Children may help navigate a station, read a map, try unfamiliar food, or think about how to communicate when they do not know the language.
During the episode, I shared a travel experience from the years when my late husband and I lived abroad. We were caught in Florence during a major power outage, with very young children and disrupted transportation. I had to ask for help and work through how we would get home.
It was an experience of adapting to circumstances we had not planned.
For families traveling after loss, there can also be something meaningful in working through a new experience together. The surviving parent may be learning alongside the children, asking questions, accepting help, and making decisions in unfamiliar surroundings.
You can still keep the experience appropriate to your family’s needs. Children may want familiar routines, reassurance, and time to talk about the parent they miss. Those needs can travel with you, too.
Make Room for a Goal Before You Know Exactly When It Will Happen
I am a planner. I like structure, goals, and knowing what we are working toward. I also want those plans to make room for the life a person hopes to live.
That is why a travel goal can be a meaningful part of a conversation after widowhood. It invites you to consider something beyond the next bill or responsibility.
You can begin with the experience you want: time with your grandchildren, a return to a place you love, a chance to see something new with your kids. From there, you can explore the cost, timing, and support it would require.
Tiffany’s work grew from the place travel held in her own life after loss. She wanted to help other widows consider experiences that could fit their circumstances and give them something to look forward to.
Your version may look different. It can still deserve a place in the conversation.
Perhaps there is someone you would like to visit, or a small trip you have been thinking about for a while. You can start by asking what would make it comfortable and financially workable.
That is enough for a beginning.
Listen to Donna Jean Kendrick’s full conversation with Tiffany Rampey on Widow Wisdom and Wealth.
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2qoAEZxMsZPQ8e9ir7VJqp?si=29c059b7cb9e43c7
