Recognizing your experience, exploring your options, and finding work that fits your life now. Inspired by Donna Jean Kendrick’s conversation with Dr. Ann Marie Peters on Widow Wisdom and Wealth.

The question of work can feel very different after your spouse dies.

Perhaps you have been home with the children for years and now need an income. Perhaps you left a job to care for your spouse during an illness. Or perhaps you are still working, but the travel, late evenings, and schedule that once fit your family have become difficult to manage on your own.

Alongside the practical questions, there may be others. Do I still have the skills? Would someone hire me? Do I want the same kind of work anymore?

When Dr. Ann Marie Peters joined me on Widow Wisdom and Wealth, we talked about career pauses and the process of finding a way back.

Ann Marie is an executive coach, leadership strategist, and organizational psychologist. Her own experience of stepping away from work to raise her children, then returning through entrepreneurship and consulting, helped shape her research and her book, We’ll Be Right Back.

She is not sharing a widowhood story of her own. She brings a perspective on career transitions that can be useful when loss changes the way your family needs you and the way work fits into your life.

Returning to work after losing a spouse or taking a career break can begin with understanding why you want or need to return, identifying the experience you already have, and exploring the practical requirements of your next role. You can take small steps while considering your household’s income, childcare, and other responsibilities.

Start With Why You Want or Need to Return

One of Ann Marie’s first suggestions was to write down your reasons for returning to work.

It sounds simple. It can also reveal how many different voices are part of the decision.

You may want an income, intellectual challenge, structure, or the connection that work provides. You may miss using a particular skill. You may feel interested in doing something different.

You might also hear people asking when you are going back. Perhaps you feel that you need to prove you are managing, or that a certain amount of time has passed and you should be ready.

Ann Marie encouraged separating your own motivations and needs from the pressure you feel around them.

Financial necessity deserves honest attention. If your household needs the income, that is a real part of the decision. You can still consider what kind of work would be manageable and what support would help you begin.

If you have more room to choose the timing, you can ask whether the return is something you want now or something you feel expected to do.

Writing the reasons down gives you a starting point for discussing the choice with people who can help. It can also clarify what you want the next role to provide beyond a job title.

A Career Pause May Be Worth Considering When It Is Workable

Early in our conversation, I asked Ann Marie about making room for a pause after loss, particularly when someone needs to be more present for their children.

That possibility depends on circumstances. A complete break from paid work may be financially workable for one person and unavailable to another.

You can examine the practical questions before making a change. What income would continue? Which benefits would you need to replace? What expenses would change? How long could the arrangement work, and when would you review it?

A financial planning conversation can help you evaluate those questions for your household. You can also discuss what a reduced schedule, different role, or temporary arrangement might involve.

The decision may include emotional needs as well as finances. You may want time for family responsibilities or need a different level of demand while navigating grief.

Ann Marie’s point was that expectations from other people do not always describe what a family needs. You can give your circumstances serious attention, including the limits that determine what is possible.

Whatever you choose, the decision can be revisited as your family’s needs and resources change.

Ann Marie’s Career Took a Path She Could Not Have Predicted

Ann Marie began her career with a large corporation. After several years, she was preparing to have her first child and considering staying home.

Her manager asked what it would take to keep her. She requested part-time work and the ability to work from home. This was in 1995, when such an arrangement was much less familiar in her workplace.

That conversation gave her an opportunity to continue working while spending more time with her growing family. Over the years, however, the demands of work, travel, and childcare became harder to balance.

Eventually, she chose to leave paid work and stay home with her three children for about five years.

When she returned, she started a business with two other women. Later, her background in organizational work and startups became useful in consulting for a new community college. She described that work with particular joy.

She also went back to school in her 50s and earned her doctorate.

What stayed with me was how earlier experience became relevant in an unexpected setting. She did not foresee that whole path before taking her break.

For someone considering a return after widowhood, her story offers a useful possibility to explore: the work you did before may have applications beyond the role or industry you first associate with it.

You can investigate those possibilities without needing to know exactly where they will lead.

Remember the Work You Did Before Your Break

Ann Marie’s research included women who had stepped away from paid work and later returned. She described how meaningful it was for some participants simply to tell their professional story.

They recalled responsibilities, accomplishments, and experiences they had not discussed in years. Some realized their children did not know what their career had involved.

If you are preparing to return, you can begin with that remembering.

What did you do? What did people rely on you for? Which projects required judgment, persistence, or coordination? What gave you satisfaction? What did you find difficult?

You might find old performance reviews, work samples you are permitted to keep, or descriptions of earlier roles helpful. A former colleague may remember contributions you have forgotten.

The purpose is to develop an accurate picture of your experience. Some knowledge may need updating, and some requirements may have changed. You can identify those needs alongside the work you already know how to do.

That gives you a more specific place to begin than the broad worry that you have been away too long.

What Skills Have You Used During the Pause?

Ann Marie also asked people to consider what they had done during their time away from paid work.

Parenting, caregiving, volunteering, and organizing household life can involve substantial responsibility. You may have coordinated schedules, handled complicated information, managed a project, or worked with people who had different needs.

When discussing those experiences professionally, specifics matter. Describe what you actually did, the responsibility you held, and what you learned. Avoid turning every family task into a job title or implying experience you did not have.

For example, someone who coordinated a community event can explain their role in scheduling, communicating with participants, or tracking expenses. A volunteer who helped manage records can describe the systems they used and the work they completed.

Then consider how that experience relates to a role you are exploring. Which requirements does it support? Which still need additional learning or practice?

You may have valuable examples without wanting to disclose private details about grief or family life. You can choose the context appropriate to the conversation.

Recognizing those experiences helps you tell a fuller and more accurate story of what you bring with you.

Confidence Can Develop Through Small, Specific Steps

Ann Marie used the image of confidence as a muscle: something you practice using.

If technology feels unfamiliar, she suggested beginning with a manageable class or learning opportunity rather than expecting yourself to master everything immediately.

That kind of specificity is helpful. You might feel uncertain about using a current software program, presenting your experience, or returning to professional conversations. Each is a different question that can lead to a different next step.

You can identify one skill relevant to a role and look for a suitable way to practice it. Community colleges, libraries, professional organizations, and other providers may have options; check what is available and appropriate to your goals.

You can also begin by reading job descriptions to understand what employers are requesting. Compare the requirements with your experience and make a list of the gaps worth addressing.

One course or conversation will not answer everything. It can give you useful information about what feels familiar, what interests you, and where further work would help.

You do not need complete confidence before beginning that exploration.

Explore a New Direction Before Making a Larger Commitment

During the episode, I admitted that I can become attached to a decision once I have announced it. Even when something turns out differently from what I expected, I can find it difficult to change direction.

Ann Marie’s emphasis on small steps was a good reminder to leave room for learning.

You may be attracted to a field without knowing what daily work in it looks like. A conversation with someone doing that work can help you understand the schedule, responsibilities, training, and challenges.

You could also explore a short course, a limited project, or a volunteer opportunity that fits your available time. Each can provide a different kind of information.

Before committing to a degree, business, or lengthy training program, consider the costs, time, and family support it would require. Ask what qualifications are necessary and what opportunities realistically follow.

You may discover that the original idea fits well. You may find a related role that works better. You may decide to stay closer to your earlier field while changing the schedule or setting.

Exploration gives you room to make that choice with more information.

Can Your Current Job Change to Fit Your Family?

For someone still working after a spouse dies, the question may be whether an existing role can become more manageable.

The schedule your family once handled together may now be difficult. Travel, evenings, or unpredictable hours can take on a different meaning when you are the sole parent.

Ann Marie suggested preparing a small proposal for the employer.

You can describe the arrangement you are requesting, how the work would be handled, and what would be needed to make it practical. Possibilities might include an adjusted schedule, reduced travel, different responsibilities, or another arrangement appropriate to the role.

These are examples to discuss, rather than options every employer can provide. Workplace policies, role requirements, and applicable rights need to be reviewed for your situation.

A proposal can make the conversation concrete. It gives you and the employer something specific to evaluate instead of leaving the request at a general statement that the job is no longer working.

The response may help you decide whether to remain, explore another role, or begin planning a larger transition. You can consider those choices alongside the finances and support your family needs.

Networking Can Begin With Someone You Already Know

Ann Marie emphasized networking throughout our conversation. She also made it feel more approachable.

Your first step does not have to be a large conference. It can be talking with someone in your existing circle about what you are exploring.

She suggested asking someone you admire about their path and seeking advice. You are learning about the work, rather than beginning by asking them to give you a job.

You might ask how they entered the field, what skills they use, or what they would want a returning candidate to understand. You can explain your background and the kind of information that would help you.

I shared how a conversation with a contact led to an internship opportunity for one of my children. He still went through the process; the connection helped him understand how to approach it.

Ann Marie described similar pathways among some women in her research. People who already knew their contributions became part of their return to work.

That does not make every conversation a job lead. It gives you another way to learn, develop connections, and let people know the direction you are considering.

Build a Clear Resume and Professional Profile

When I asked Ann Marie about practical priorities, we discussed the resume and professional presence alongside networking and mindset.

You can begin by deciding which roles you are pursuing. That helps you choose relevant experience and describe it in language a prospective employer can understand.

Include accurate examples of responsibilities and accomplishments. Review any requirements for licenses, credentials, or recent experience rather than assuming an earlier qualification remains current.

You can also develop a brief explanation of the career pause. It may be enough to say that you stepped away for caregiving or family responsibilities and are now exploring a return. You can choose how much personal detail you want to share.

Your resume and professional profile should present a consistent account of your experience and interests. A trusted person can review whether the information is clear and whether anything important is missing.

If you use an online career platform, check its current tools and guidance directly. The features available may change, but the underlying task remains useful: making your experience understandable to someone who has not worked with you before.

Volunteering May Be One Way to Explore Your Skills

Ann Marie mentioned volunteering as a possible way to practice professional skills and learn about work that interests you.

It can be useful when the opportunity fits both your goals and your available time. You might contribute to a defined project, work with a system you want to learn, or gain a clearer sense of an organization’s day-to-day activities.

Before agreeing, ask about the responsibilities and time commitment. You can consider whether the experience is relevant and whether you have room for it alongside your family needs.

If paid work is urgent, extensive unpaid commitments may not be workable. You can explore other ways to gather information or refresh skills while focusing on opportunities that provide income.

When volunteering does fit, keep an accurate record of your contribution and any outcomes you can describe. Those details may help you discuss the experience later.

The value comes from the actual work and learning involved, rather than simply adding an activity to your schedule.

Give Your Return a Plan That Can Be Adjusted

Ann Marie’s book includes a 90-day plan. In the episode, she described elements such as networking, exploration, updating professional materials, and preparing for the return.

A time-bounded plan can help organize the work into steps. It should also have room for the reality of your circumstances.

You might begin by reviewing earlier experience and identifying target roles. Then you could have a few conversations, update your materials, and choose a skill to refresh. Later steps might involve applications or another round of exploration based on what you learned.

Those are possible activities inspired by our discussion, rather than a reproduction of the book’s plan. Your sequence depends on what you need and how much time you have.

You can schedule a point to review progress. What has become clearer? What remains uncertain? Has a family need changed? Do you need advice or a different approach?

The plan can help you keep track of decisions without requiring every question to be settled at the beginning.

What Would Meaningful Work Look Like Now?

We also talked about the desire for work that feels aligned with the life you are living.

After a major transition, you may feel differently about how you want to spend your time. You might want to use an earlier skill in another setting, work closer to home, or contribute to something you care about.

I shared that returning to school helped me develop tools for work connected to my own sense of purpose. Ann Marie described finding joy in a professional path she could not have predicted before her pause.

Meaningful work will look different for each person. It can include interesting tasks, a supportive team, useful service, or a schedule and income that help you care for your family.

You do not have to create a business or change industries to find that fit. You can examine what matters to you and use it to evaluate the choices available.

If the years ahead feel unclear, perhaps there is one question you can begin with: What do I want work to contribute to my life now?

From there, you can gather information, recognize the experience you bring, and take the next practical step.

Listen to Donna Jean Kendrick’s full conversation with Dr. Ann Marie Peters on Widow Wisdom and Wealth.

Learn more about Ann Marie and her book, We’ll Be Right Back: A Lifeline for Every Woman Who Hit Pause on Her Career, on her official book page.